Four Strategies for Finding Happiness at Work

As we start a new year - with one or more new years resolution... most of us will have considered what we do for work. If we are happy at work (where we spend so much of our time)... then some how life seems to come into flow.

I enjoyed reading James Clear in his article 6 Ways to Find Happiness at Work, there are a few things you can do to create a happier reality for yourself at work… I have four clear strategies from this:

Get Social - One of the key indicators of happiness is having a strong social network, and the workplace is no exception. Your company may not have a buddy program for newbies like we do at RedBalloon, but that’s no reason not to get to know your co-workers. Why not offer to do the morning coffee run and take everyone’s order? That way you’ll get to know names and earn some goodwill points at the same time! Go for a walk at lunchtime with a couple of colleagues; start an office book club; or bring in homemade treats for the whole team. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, but put a little thought into how you might be able to connect and get the conversation flowing.

Look For Chances To Excel - Jump on the front-foot and seek out opportunities to challenge yourself professionally. Put your hand up for a new project, or think of an improvement or innovation for the business that you can pitch to management. Alternatively, ask your manager if there’s anything additional you can take on or assist with. Show initiative and you’ll be noticed for it.

Being recognised, rewarded or acknowledged for this additional effort will make your experience of work all the richer.

Ask For Change - Be proactive and courageous. If your job, or part of your job is making you unhappy, speak up and ask if you can change it. Don’t be resigned to your fate, and don’t feel guilty for standing up for what’s important to you. Often other people are simply far too wrapped up in their own reality to notice if you’re feeling unhappy in yours, so speaking up is key to enacting change. Let’s get one thing straight though - we’re not giving you permission to whinge in the kitchen or bathroom about a horrible project or annoying co-worker, but rather giving encouragement to speak up to the right people. You may be surprised to see how a little communication can make a big impact.

Do Things For Others - Like the concept of paying it forward, we all feel good when we do something for or say something nice about another person. Making other people happy is a sure fire way to create a little joy for yourself, and this applies to the office as much as anywhere else. Acknowledge the good work of a colleague or compliment a co-worker on their outfit. This strategy also means taking a step back from criticism. You can be as kind in what you choose not to say as well as what you do.

Photo: Save The Children, ERO team at Picnic

Do You Struggle to Make Conversation? A Menu of Options for Small Talk.

Small talk can be a big problem. I want to be friendly and polite, but I just can’t think of a thing to say.

Here are some strategies I try when my mind is a blank:

1. Comment on a topic common to both of you at the moment: the venue, the food, the occasion, the weather (yes, talking about the weather is a cliche, but it works). “How do you know our host?” “What brings you to this event?” But keep it on the positive side! Unless you can be hilariously funny, the first time you come in contact with a person isn’t a good time to complain.

2. Comment on a topic of general interest. A friend scans Google News right before he goes anywhere where he needs to make small talk, so he bring up some interesting news item.

3. Ask a question that people can answer as they please. My favorite question is: “What’s keeping you busy these days?” It’s useful because it allows people to choose their focus (work, volunteer, family, hobby). Also, it's helpful if you ought to remember what the person does for a living, but can’t remember.

4. Ask open questions that can’t be answered with a single word.

5. If you do ask a question that can be answered in a single word, instead of just supplying your own information in response, ask a follow-up question. For example, if you ask, “Where are you from?” an interesting follow-up question might be, “What would your life be like if you still lived there?”

6. Ask getting-to-know-you questions. “What internet sites do you visit regularly?" "What vacation spot would you recommend?” These questions often reveal a hidden passion, which can make for great conversation. I'm working on Before and After, a book about habits, and one side benefit is that I have an excuse to ask people about their good and bad habits, and their answers are inevitably fascinating. Plus people enjoy talking about their habits.

7. React to what a person says in the spirit in which that that comment was offered. If he makes a joke, even if it’s not very funny, try to laugh. If she offers some surprising information (“Did you know that the Harry Potter series have sold more than 450 million copies?”), react with surprise.

8. Be slightly inappropriate. I can’t use this strategy, myself, because I don’t have the necessary gumption, but my husband is a master. Over and over, I hear him ask a question that seems slightly too prying, or too cheeky, and I feel a wifely annoyance, but then I see that the person to whom he’s talking isn’t offended–if anything, that person seems intrigued and flattered by his interest.

9. Watch out for the Oppositional Conversational Style. A person with oppositional conversational style (I coined this term) is a person who, in conversation, disagrees with and corrects whatever others say. If you practice this style of conversation, beware: other people often find it deeply annoying.

10. Follow someone’s conversational lead. If someone obviously drops in a reference to a subject, pick up on that thread. Confession: I have a streak of perversity that inexplicably makes me want to thwart people in their conversational desires–I’m not sure why. For instance, I remember talking to a guy who was obviously dying to talk about the time that he’d lived in Vietnam, and I just would not cooperate. Why not? I should’ve been thrilled to find a good subject for discussion.

11. Along the same lines, counter-intuitively, don’t try to talk about your favorite topic, because you’ll be tempted to talk too much. This is a strategy that I often fail to follow, but Ishould follow it. I’ll get preoccupied with a topic -- such as happiness or habits -- and want to talk about it all the time, with everyone I meet, and I have a lot to say.

How about you? Have you found any good strategies for making polite chit-chat?

For more tips about conversation, check out these tips for knowing if you’re boring someone.

For more on this subject, read Happier at Home, chapter on neighborhood.

• I continue to be staggered by the response to the four 21 Day Projects. If you want to make some concrete, manageable changes in your life, I hope these Projects will be helpful. Curious about the breakdown?
  Know myself better is in the lead; De-clutter my life is next; Quit yelling at your kids; and Cope better with difficult people.

Child Marriage Awareness in Nepal

World Issues

Republished from MyRepublica.com. Story by Ritesh Tripathi.

Teachers express worry about the dropout rates of the girls, who are married off at 10-years-old or under. These girls are at the mercy of their in-laws, stripped of all their freedom and rights, the young girls get accustomed to a life in the shadows. 

“However, this long held tradition is losing its grip over Madhesi society, and there have been signs of change,” states Akshchhaya Chaudhari, principal at Nepal Rastriya Higher Secondary School at Dumarwana village in Bara district.

“The movement against child marriage is sweeping through the villages in Tarai. The messages carried by songs, public speeches and drama have directly hit the heart and minds of the people forcing them to look at the issue differently,” he said.

Photo by Ritesh Tripathi

An hour long drama called Paschataap, meaningregret, is staged at local schools and other suitable localities in the villages in Bara, Parsa and Rautahat districts, where child marriage is most prevalent.

Similarly, public speeches on the issue by Narayani Zonal Police (NZP) Chief Sarbendra Khanal and heart-rending songs on the topic are necessary parts of the campaign. The anti-child marriage drive, led by NZP with the involvement of local groups including Youth for Change (YFC), has been going on for over a month.

 “The campaign has been so effective that some people across the border in Raksol of India have also formed a committee for similar reason. Child marriage is rampant on both sides of the border in Tarai,” said Chaudhari.

“Child marriage really ruins our lives. I have begun to feel that I, too, would have done something in life had I gotten the chance to continue my study instead,” said Sita Ghimire of Jummarwala VDC in Bara, the 24-year-old got married while she was in 6th grade. “Such programs should be launched even in far and mid-western region.”

Narrating a 3-year-old local case, a youth campaigner Sushma Sharma pointed out how child marriage is patronized by influential people of the society making it a hard to end the practice. “It was a case of marriage of an 11-year-old Yadav girl. Even the then CDO Nagendra Jha and SP Rajendra Shrestha were unable to stop her marriage due to pressure from the locals and politicians,” Sharma said.

“As cases of crime declined, the police directed its effort toward increasing its involvement in many social activities, working closely with the public. This changed the people’s mindset toward the police.”

President of the Children Service Center of District Police, Bara, Sabitri Sharma stated that Madhes is backward due to various reasons, but what ails the society most is child marriage. “The practice is most common among Madeshi, Tharu and Dalit community. It is estimated 75 percent of children here get married before reaching 20.”

The United Nations has rated Nepal among top 10 countries in the world that practice child marriage. While legal age for marriage in Nepal is 18 for girls and 20 for boys, 1 in 3 girls get married before that age.

Kiran Devi Jaiswal, a local of Simrangarh in Bara district, gave birth to eight girls in the hopes of having a boy. She did not think twice before marrying off her five of her daughters while they were still very young. Jaiswal was married at a very young age, she simply believed that grown up daughters could bring trouble to the family, more so, when you have too many of them. But thanks to the anti-child marriage movement in her village, Jaiswal is no longer desperate to marry off her younger kids. Rather she wants to further educate them.

“I feel I wronged my other daughters by marrying them early. Now let alone the youngest one, I will not look for a groom even for the two other older to her. I will educate them further,” said Jaiswal.